Québec
2 August 1992 (second day of 10-day road trip) Cades Cove, Tennessee

vacationtime is not a reality all its own.  Moresmile and i are not familiars enough to brave a tenday, but here we nestle just at the tender feet of Appalachians mount.  deer but crossed as i mild swerved to come comfort stop.  a benign trailhead with deer feet and look back.

“Let’s follow her Sam.  Down that trail.”

lets.  in an hour stride warm day, deer gone.  forgotten a motivation.  she is under a waterfall, waving at me in a bathing suit with the other hand extended into the current falling down.  i see a pond reverberating and lapping the spray of fall water.  i am up to my chest; she a bouncy figure from rock to rackled rock.  this is chaos water, spraying wings and flit-tittering down, the revolving space there.  i see her and i lose her.  i but am lost with the eyes focus.  i am partially submerged and do not know myself from the chest down.  she is a water nymph.  i a head and shoulders floating lily pad.

“Sam?  What are you doing?  You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”

“Weren’t you just under the falls?”

“Twenty minutes ago, waiting for you to come over.”

waiting.  up she still so.  these ideas of mine don’t work for her.  waiting.  she glistens, smiles, wades out to my lily torso.  my legs and chestdown have sunk to the bottom.  my lily sees below, the rest of the body a fish, flap-happiling around with his new fish friends.  a headless flipping fish chestdown, darting with tiny schools and my lily doesn’t seem to know how to call him back.

“Sam, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing.  Tired I think is all.”

“You think?”

“A little.”

“Come out of the water.  You’re scaring me.”

“Why?”

“You look out of it Sam.  That water is deeper than you might realize.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Let’s get you clear of here.”

i look back down to find my lost body mermade.  i think to it, my lily begs it to return.  it flap-happilies up back to me as Moresmile wades further to pull us both back onto shore.  she is wearing a bikini today and this is new to me, top with a pair of nylon shorts.  rugged and sensualistic.  i’d like to pull us both down to the schools below, to breathe in fall water and stare up at magnified sunshine.  sun, spread out and rippled by our fish gaze.  huge sun.  crackling watercolor sun.  Helios blowing air bubbles for us to breathe light.  hard to want the air there before after sun god sighs.

“Sam?”

“What?”

“Come out of the water okay?”

“Are we leaving?”

“Yeah.  I think it’s time to.”

“Okay.  I could probably use a nap.  Do you mind driving for awhile?”

i pull water heavied muscles towards Moresmile as she hints a face worried, before the back heads outward the park.  the look i stops me still in ankles.  she turns when my hand in hers linksnaps.  she walks slowly.  in the water our ankles meet.  i touch her waist.  she moves my hands to both sides of her face.  she whispers, but i don’t understand.  her stomach tightens, shimmers.  there.  an enormous womb, a birth ocean i will first drown then breathe in.  soon.  for now i am an estuary.

just a little salt with the pressing of tongues.  another tug water away.  she really wants me out of here.  my eyes go black as a Flight pecks me back to present present.

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